Venturing out into the world of dating, I never for minute thought it was possible to lie to someone about loving them. How something as sacred as love could be lied about was beyond my comprehension. How dead does your soul have to be to tell such a lie? That lesson I learned the hard way. It is possible, and your soul doesn’t have to be dead in order to do it.
Simply enough, it is possible to convince yourself that loving the way someone makes you feel is the same as loving that person. We all need to be loved. We all want to be desired. We all want to be needed. The sense of security that is associated with these things is intense and beautiful. We assume someone finds value in me. What if that isn’t the case? What if we are riding a wave of emotions that crashes us on the shores of reality; this isn’t love, its human need. Too many of my relationships have ended on those shores. Am I done making mistakes?
For the first time in my life, I feel like I finally get it. I no longer believe the lie of love. The reason for that is I no longer need to be loved. I can be alone and be comfortable with who I am. I love myself and I know my own value. I no longer need you to find it for me.
Beloved, I don’t want our love story to be a short story. I don’t want to wake up next you one day and wonder, “Who’s the stranger in my bed?” I want to love your substance. I want to love your beautiful soul and all the stupid tiny details of you. So if you are still working on finding your own value, I understand. Take all the time that you need. When you are ready, I’ll be right here, ready to start our journey.